Saturday, November 8, 2008

Burnt offering to Dionysus

I woke up, after my first night in Seoul, on the floor of a spa, next to a half naked Korean woman, with a Tweety bird blanket on my face (she had apparently discarded it in the night and when she woke up she acted like I stole it). Unfortunately, it was not until I was awoken by the Tweety lady's swine like snores, that I realized I had forgotten to pack my drinking legs, dignity and aspirin.

The night began harmlessly. We (Dustin and his Mexican buddy) went to a bar completely comprised of foreigners, so it was almost like a typical night in Oxford--minus the North Face and bottle blonds. I even met a girl who went to Miami University! How the hell does this happen? Shannon meets a Miami Alum in Guatemala and I meet another in S. Korea, seems odd. Anyhow, I blame Sojou (Korean liquor) for being relatively tasteless, no I blame my two month drinking hiatus where all I did was read the bible, well for whatever reason, I digressed to freshman year. I think I even told a Hitler joke to a German-- tasteless. I will not embarrass myself further (plus the details are blurry) so lets just say I'm not proud. Thank God Dustin got me to the spa... this is after I had stormed off, only to realize I am in a foreign country and no matter how hard I look, I will not find Jimmy Johns.

Back to today, I basically spent the whole day in the spa, and bytheway, my latest entourage spoke the best English yet! It was odd when this woman kept making me follow her around the spa, we would look in every room and then she would send me back into the baths. The first time I thought it was a tour, by the third time I was annoyed. Finally, one of the girls in my crew told me we were looking for my "boyfriend" ie Dustin. I think the woman was afraid to let me leave without a babysitter. Anyhow, I finally want to leave, I go to get me coat and they hand me the wrong one. I try and express the mistake but the counter clerk kept shaking her head and telling me, "You drunk, it is." So, to prove my point, I put on the coat. It looks like it was taylored for a T-Rex the arms are clearly too short for me--still no progress. We just kept going around the same circle, "You drunk"-- "No mam, I was drunk yesterday!"

To make a long story short, today I had to wander Seoul doing my best Chris Farely (fat guy in a little coat) because my favorite coat has become a burnt offering to Dionysus.


mrsbirder said...

Hi Les, this is dad. I just figured out that I could leave a comment on your blogs. I'm going to purchase some chop sticks and eat noodles in your honor! I need your mailing addres so I can send you stuff. The steak is getting really cold!

Shan bam said...

I absolutely adore you and your adventures. I read all these entries thinking "This is SO LESLIE". LMAO! Burnt offerings.

Shan bam said...

oh yeah, and why were you sleeping at a spa? Is this something Korean? Is it like a hotel? Or do you just lie around naked all the time and steal tweety bird blankets?

Anonymous said...

oh my lord leslie!! i miss you so much it's not even funny! the sad part is, i can picture you doing everything you write about, and all i can do is shake my head and laugh. it reminds me of your freshman year all over again...and if that's how much you're drinking, oy vey! look out korea...Anyways, I love you and miss you. Let me know when you get skype hooked up. Who knows when we'll actually chat..this whole 14 hour time difference is a killer.